Thrity Thursdays or "The Space Between Us" Readalong

At last we come to the end of our readalong of Thrity Umrigar's The Space Between Us. It would be more accurate for me to say "Sadly" rather than "At last," to be honest. This was one of those books that you just don't want to reach the end of--and one that will stay with me.

Chapters 21-25
Well, I'd like to tell you about these final chapters but I can't without revealing too much and I so want you to read this book. It will have to suffice to say that "spaces" become so much more apparent and that certain truths are finally revealed.

A minor but important character, an Afghani balloon man that used to work on Chowpatty Beach, comes back in the final chapter. Umrigar previously wrote that he symbolized to Bhima how to live with loneliness. Here, his memory shows her how to live with strength:

"Bhima marvels at the paradox: A solitary man, an exile, a man without a country or a family, had still succeeded in creating dreamworlds for hundreds of children, had entered the homes of strangers with his creations of color and fantasy and magic. A man who would never again touch or kiss the sweet faces of his own children brought smiles to the faces of other people's children. Like a musician, the Pathan had learned how to make a song out of his loneliness. Like a magician, he had learned how to use sheer air to contort limp pieces of rubber into objects of happiness. Empty-handed, he had built a world."

My Thoughts:
Umrigar writes some of the most incredible characters. At the back of this book, she reveals why it was possible in this one - there really was a Bhima. She worked in the house that Umrigar grew up in "cleaning furniture she was not allowed to sit on, cooking food she was not allowed to share at the family dining table." Dinaz is a reflection of Umrigar herself--a young person who "sensed [Bhima's] essential goodness and dignity and stoic heroism." And Sera was born of watching her own aunts interact with Bhima.

Umrigar doesn't explore any new ground in this book. She is not the first person to write about class distinctions, poverty, and despair. Umrigar just does it better than most. She pulls you into the story and brings you down to a personal level that really makes you care about the characters and the story she is trying to tell.

Thrity Thursdays or "The Space Between Us" Readalong

Welcome to Week 3 of our "The Space Between Us" readalong! It's pretty much official now--I love Thrity Umrigar!

To see what everyone else is thinking about this books, check out these posts:

Ti at Book Chatter
Staci at Life In The Thumb
Kathy at Mommy's Reading
Booksync at Book In The City
Bailey at The Window Seat Reader
Mari at Bookworm With A View
Amy at The House of the Seven Tails

Chapters 12-15
Two months have passed since Maya had the abortion and Bhima observes that she "won't come to life."

"Rather, she sits stone-faced, as if the abortion doctor has killed more than her baby, as if he has also cleaned out her insides, has scooped out her beating heart just as Bhima scoops the fibrous innards of the red pumpkin that Serabai puts in her dall. Whatever it is that makes human beings laugh and dance and hope and love and pray, whatever it is that separates youth from old age, life from death, Maya has lost that."

In order to help her break out of her sadness, Bhima decides to take Maya to the beach. While there Maya does brighten up, Bhima begins to soften and forgive her and they talk some about the past. Maya reveals that she knows that her parents died of AIDS but Bhima is not ready to discuss that with her.

We do get to learn about it though--how Bhima was summoned to Delhi via telegram that just said that her daughter, Pooja, and son-in-law, Raju, were very sick. Bhima is shocked to find how very sick they are but doesn't realize, until she befriends a Muslim man, Hyder, that they are dying. Despite her frailty, Pooja is determined to be with Raju when he dies but Hyder and Bhima are the ones that accompany his body to the funeral pyre behind the hospital. When Pooja also dies, and Bhima has to accompany her body also, she wants nothing more than to throw herself on the pyre as well. She is almost resently of Maya because the need to care for Maya means that she can't do that.

Sera attends a dinner party in the home where she first met Feroz and being there causes her to reflect on the first time he beat her and she really realized what she had gotten into. Four years after that first beating, Sera and Dinaz go to visit her parents one day and Sera realizes that she has actually just left Feroz. After two weeks, though, Sera's mother tells her that her place is with her husband and after five weeks, Freddy shows up with a proposal. He has agreed to buy a flat for Feroz, Sera and Dinaz to at least get Sera away from Banu, the Monster and Sera agrees that she will return to Feroz.

My Thoughts
What really struck me in these chapters was Bhima's sense that everything bad that happens to her is somehow a curse or a result of something she had done wrong in her life. She carries a tremendous amount of guilt but is resigned that her life is only about making Maya's life better.

Because Sera married later, she had a taste of what life might have been for her if she had not married and had a child. She also had to resign herself to her life because of her sense that she had a duty to Dinaz to give her the best life possible. Both Bhima and Sera find themselves where they are in life in no small part because of the men they married--not much of a recommendation for marriage!

Umrigar's writing continues to amaze me.

"The secret of loneliness. How to live with it, how to wrap it around your body and still be able to make beautiful, colorful things, like he did with those balloons."

"It was hate. Hate that lodged like a bone in her throat. Hate that made her feel sick, that gave her mouth a bitter, dry taste. Hate that entered her heart like a fever, that made her lips curve downward like a bent spoon."

I can't wait to read on! Please join us in welcoming Amy, of The House of the Seven Tails, to the readalong!

Thrity Thursdays or "The Space Between Us" Readalong

Welcome to Thrity Thursdays or our "The Space Between Us" readalong! This week takes us through Part 1. Also joining me are:


Ti at Book Chatter
Dar at Peeking Between The Pages
Staci at Life In The Thumb
Kathy at Mommy's Reading
Booksync at Book In The City
Bailey at The Window Seat Reader
Mari at Bookworm With A View

Chapters 7-12 
Synopsis:
Much of these chapters focused on two things: Maya's pregnancy and flashbacks to Sera's past. Sera's family seems to be every bit as interested in Maya's need for an abortion as Bhima; Sera even seems to think that it is overshadowing Dinaz's ability to rejoice in her own pregnancy. Maya has asked Sera to go with her when she has the abortion and Viraf finds a doctor in a good clinic that is willing to perform the abortion. Maya is very conflicted about being forced to abort her baby but goes through with it. Sera, who is actually trying to be helpful, is surprised when Maya doesn't appear grateful.

In flashbacks we see how Feroz & Sera's marriage started to fall apart almost as soon as they returned from their honeymoon, in no small part due to the craziness of his mother, Banu. Her husband, Freddy, shows Sera kindness, but that only serves to anger Banu. Freddy even apologizes for not warning Sera before she married Feroz--not just about Banu but also about Feroz's temper, something Sera hadn't seen yet. But soon he is beating her regularly, finally so severely that he leaves to avoid having to watch her deal with her pain. Bhima comes to her rescue using homeopathic remedies, massage and soothing words. But when Bhima comes down with typhoid fever and Sera feels like she needs to nurse her back to health, the best she can do for Bhima is to move her out of the slums and onto a slim mattress on Sera's balcony.

My Thoughts:
"Space" begins to become more and more a prominent part of the book in these chapters. Sera takes about giving Viraf and Dinaz "space" to live their own lives under her roof but there is also a space between Dinaz and Sera because of their wildly different views on social issues. In one scene Viraf is driving Bhima to the market and Umrigar points out the space between them in the car but, of course, that space, while easy enough to cross physically, can't be crossed because of the social barriers. When Sera goes to Bhima's home because Bhima is ill, she becomes acutely aware of the space between her and the residents of the slums, a space that is made all the more obvious by the residents of the slum and Bhima herself. And when Sera decides she must bring Bhima home to nurse her but can't really stand to be any where around Bhima because Bhima reminds her too much of the slum she has just seen, the space is glaringly obvious. Again the scenes in the slum are wrenching. The classism is heartbreaking.

Passages I enjoyed:

"But now," she continued, "now, I love the deep sound of the cello. Somehow, it sounds most like life - sad and sweet and lost. Lonely. I always think that if the heart could sing, it would sound like a cello."

"...perhaps each long-ago blow lives on into eternity in some different permutation and shape; perhaps the body is this hypersensitive, revengeful entity, a ledger book, a warehouse of remembered slights and cruelties.

But if this is true, surely the body also remembers each kindness, each kiss, each act of compassion? Surely this is our salvation, our only hope - that joy and love are also woven into the fabric of the body, into each sinewy muscle, into the core of each pulsating cell?"

Thrity Thursdays or "The Space Between Us" Readalong

Welcome to Thrity Thursday, also known as "The Space Between Us" readalong. We'll be reading the book over the next five weeks. Thanks to these bloggers for joining me!

Ti at Book Chatter
Dar at Peeking Between The Pages
Staci at Life In The Thumb
Kathy at Mommy's Reading
Booksync at Book In The City
Bailey at The Window Seat Reader
Mari at Bookworm With A View

Chapters 1-6

My Synopsis:
Bhima and her granddaughter, Maya, live in the slums of Bombay. They've had to move there after Bhima's husband, Gopal, leaves her but Bhima had high hopes for Maya, who was going to college. But Maya is pregnant and Bhima is both angry and afraid; she can't let herself comfort Maya in anyone because she needs Maya to understand the shame this will bring on them.

Bhima has worked as a housekeeper for Sera Dubash, who also lives with her daughter Dinaz and son-in-law, Viraf. Dinaz is also pregnant. Sera likes to say that Bhima is one of the family but still treats her like a lower-class citizen. They have tea together, but Bhima isn't allowed to sit on a chair. On the other hand, it's Sera that saw the potential in Maya and has taken care of her education.

Even though Sera and Bhima believe that Maya should have an abortion, Bhima holds on to the hope that Maya will name the father of her baby and that he will do the honorable thing and Maya will make a good marriage. So when Maya finally gives Bhima a name, Bhima decides to find him at the college and confront him. But when she does, she discovers that Maya has lied; the boy she named hardly knows Maya and now word of Maya's pregnancy will spread over the campus, meaning that Maya cannot return.

Maya finally agrees to get an abortion but asks that Sera go with her rather than Bhima because she knows she will get better care if a woman of wealth is with her.

We also get some of the background of Sera when she visits the home of her mother-in-law, Banu, whom Sera calls "The Monster." Banu has suffered a stroke and is paralyzed; Sera visits her every day but pinches Banu's unfeeling cheek to prove a point. Banu treated her terribly when Sera and her husband, Feraz, lived with Banu and her husband, Freddy.

We also learn about Bhima's courtship with Gopal who pursued Bhima after meeting her at a cousin's wedding. When they marry he promises her a live of fun and that he will always treat her like a queen.

My Thoughts:
Well, then, that's a lot of names isn't it?! I'm thinking we've met almost everyone that's going to play a prominent part in this book. Classism is clearly going to be a huge theme here: Sera says she feels like Bhima is one of the family but clearly doesn't really feel that way; on more than one occasion the point is made that the wealthy will be treated better than the poor; even Bhima, who didn't always live in the slums, considers herself a step above the other residents because she doesn't feel like she belongs there.

"On the one hand, it makes her flush with pride when Serabai calls her "my Bhima" and talks about her proprietarily. On the other hand, she always seems to be doing things that undercut Bhima's interests. Life refusing Viraf baba's offer to buy a dishwasher. How nice it would be not to run her arthritic hands in water all day long."

I'm thinking that much will be made, also, of the difference between Maya's and Dinaz's pregnancies.

Much like I was with Umrigar's "The Weigh of Heaven," I was pulled right into this book. Her descriptions of Bhima's life are almost painful to read--so raw that I can't even make myself give you a quote. I think I'm going to have a hard time doling this one out a few chapters a week! If you're interested in joining us, it's not too late.

Thrity Thursdays or "The Space Between Us" Readalong

When I wrote my review of Thrity Umrigar's "The Weight of Heaven," many of you commented that you liked "The Space Between Us" even better. Then several of you mentioned that you'd be interested in doing a readalong so, without further ado, I present "Thrity Thursdays," a readalong of "The Space Between Us."

The synopsis of the book from the Barnes and Noble website:

Each morning, Bhima, a domestic servant in contemporary Bombay, leaves her own small shanty in the slums to tend to another woman's house. In Sera Dubash's home, Bhima scrubs the floors of a house in which she remains an outsider. She cleans furniture she is not permitted to sit on. She washes glasses from which she is not allowed to drink. Yet despite being separated from each other by blood and class, she and Sera find themselves bound by gender and shared life experiences.
Sera is an upper-middle-class Parsi housewife whose opulent surroundings hide the shame and disappointment of her abusive marriage. A widow, she devotes herself to her family, spending much of her time caring for her pregnant daughter, Dinaz, a kindhearted, educated professional, and her charming and successful son-in-law, Viraf.
Bhima, a stoic illiterate hardened by a life of despair and loss, has worked in the Dubash household for more than twenty years. Cursed by fate, she sacrifices all for her beautiful, headstrong granddaughter, Maya, a university student whose education — paid for by Sera — will enable them to escape the slums. But when an unwed Maya becomes pregnant by a man whose identity she refuses to reveal, Bhima's dreams of a better life for her granddaughter, as well as for herself, may be shattered forever.

I didn't want to drag this out for too many weeks, so I broke the book down into five parts of about 60 pages and, coincidentally, there are five Thursdays in July. Here's the breakdown:

Post Date Chapters
July 1 Chapters 1-6
July 8 Chapters 7-11
July 15 Chapters 12-15
July 22 Chapters 16-20
July 29 Chapters 21-25

If you'd like to join us, just leave a comment and I'll add you to the list.

The Writing On My Forehead by Nafisi Haji

The Writing On My Forehead by Nafisi Haji
320 pages
Published March 2009 by Harper Collins
Source: the publisher and TLC Book Tours

Saira Qader is watching over her sister's daughter, as the book opens, because her sister has been shot. Thinking of Ameena takes Saira on a journey into her past, from the time the sisters were little girls right back to the present.

Of Indo-Pakistani descent, but born and raised in the U.S., the two are as different as they can be. Ameena is the "good" daughter, bound to follow the rules and the traditions of their culture. But Saira has always been a little unruly, has always been one to question "why." When she is sent to Pakistan to attend a cousin's wedding, she learns the real reason her mother has refused to attend and so much more about her family and their history. She learns about her maternal grandfather, who left her Indian grandmother for a young Englishwoman before she was even born and she's able to meet the woman and the aunts her mother has never acknowledged. She's able to learn about her paternal grandfather, a man who spent great amounts of time fighting for India's independence from Britain, who lamented the separation of the land into India and Pakistan, all while suffering pain losses in his own life. Knowing these things only seems to convince Saira that being the good little Indo-Paki daughter is not for her. When Ameena enters into an arranged marriage, Saira becomes convinced that, like her great-aunt, Big Nanima, she will never marry.

"But it was a sour proposition to have to contemplate--that there would be any such "we" in my future. That my marriage--that any part of my adult life--would be determined by "we." I thought of Big Nanima, living alone in her little house. That's what I wanted for myself. Space. Freedom."

Instead she attends college, does all of the things her parents would disapprove of, and travels the world as a journalist. But on 9/11, along with so many thousands of others, Saira's life is changed forever.

My sister told me this weekend that she heard that you should probably live where most of the books you love are set. I guess that means I should be, at the very least, considering a trip to India. Because, yet again, I have found a book centered around Middle Eastern culture that I couldn't put down.

Because of the time span of the book, there almost appear to be "parts" of the book. Haji has gone into great detail about certain time periods, then skips over years before picking up the story again. This doesn't always work for me, but Haji has managed to make the story flow for the most part. Learning about the culture, learning about the Indian/Pakistani separation and looking at the world from a different perspective really captivated me. Haji also manages to work in some references to other literary works, including Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women."

"My mother, I decided, had morphed into some kind of Indo-Pak version of Mrs. Bennet. Ameena was typically quiet. The shy, blushing-bride routine would come naturally to her, I decided, recalling Jane with some bitterness. So, who was I supposed to be? Lizzy?

More like Jo to Ameena's Meg, I decided later, during dinner."

Haji writes of living in the modern world, making your own way, while not entirely turning your back on your culture's history.

"You are a young woman from a different time and place. You have to decide what you want fro your life. But don't be too quick to throw away all of the old to embrace the new. Make room for both, Saira. This old family network--it is with us when we are born, why we marry--as your mother is using it now--and when we die. It is not always a bad thing. Here people don't die alone in their apartments, unmissed and unnoticed for weeks, as I have heard happens in America. In our culture, you are defined by who you are to other people--someone's daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt. "

There is a lot here, and it doesn't always work. At one point there is a speech that lasts several pages regarding journalism's merit versus fiction's merit. After a bit, I just jumped ahead to get back to the meat of the story. Occasionally Haji can get a little preachy.

But, overall, this is a wonderful story about what it means to be part of a family and part of a particular culture. This would make a good book club selection; there's a lot here to discuss.

Thanks to Trish, and TLC Book Tours for including me on this tour!

The Weight of Heaven by Thrity Umrigar

The Weight of Heaven by Thrity Umrigar
384 pages
Published April 2009 by Harper Collins
Source: the publisher and TLC Book Tours


Frank and Ellie Benton have built a wonderful life for themselves, the center of which is their son, seven-year-old Benny. But when Benny dies of a sudden illness that comes on while Frank is out of the country, their lives are shattered. Frank blames Ellie for going to sleep even though she knew Benny was sick; Ellie blames Frank for not being at home when it happened.

When a job opportunity arises in India, Frank is hesitant at first but Ellie looks at it as their chance to get away from all of the constant reminders of Benny. They soon find themselves plunked in Girbaug, India, nothing more than a village. The "cottage" they live in is tended to by a couple who live on the grounds, Prakash and Edna, along with their son, Ramesh. Although nothing like Benny, Ramesh's intelligence and vivacity capture Frank and he becomes more and more caught up in caring for Ramesh. First he begins tutoring Ramesh every night, then they are going for runs every morning, and soon Ramesh is even taken along on a trip to Mumbai, against Prakash's strong objections. Edna is only too glad for the attention to her son, feeling that everything Frank is doing will benefit him; Prakash becomes more and more jealous of the things that Frank and Ellie can offer that he cannot.

Ellie falls in love with India. She makes a dear friend, volunteers in the local clinic and tries to really understand the people. It isn't as easy for Frank, who is in charge of an American-owned factory that harvests the leaves from a tree that only grows locally, to use it to make a drug to treat diabetes. He must deal with worker demands, corrupt institutions and a village that is angry that the forest that they believe is theirs has been leased to the Americans by their government.

You know you're in for a treat when the first few sentences of the prologue grab you:

"A few days after Benny's death, Ellie and Frank Benton broke into separate people. Although they didn't know it then. At that time, all they could do was concentrate on getting through each bewildering day, fighting to suppress the ugly memories that burst to the surface like fish above water."

A few pages later, this description of where they were almost two years later, as they sat on their porch in India:

"It was a contrast to most of their interactions these days, which were laced with bitterness and unspoken accusations. He knew he was losing Ellie, that she was slipping out of his hands like the sand that lay just beyond the front yard, but he seemed unable to prevent the slow erosion. What she wanted from him - forgiveness - he could not grant her. What he wanted from her - his son back - she couldn't give."

Their situation was so real to me. Umrigar made me understand the emotions that Frank and Ellie were experiencing. In the middle of the book, Umrigar takes readers back to the time when Benny got sick. Frank, who was in Bangkok, must fly back to Ann Arbor, Michigan. When he gets there, he is picked up by his brother and a friend. As they talk to Frank about Benny's condition, it hits Frank how close to death Benny really is.

"His task was to sweep out of his mind the debris of Scott's words. He was so involved in this benign task that he heard the awful sounds coming from his mouth at the same time the other two did and was therefore as startled as they were. He sounded like an animal with a bullet in its leg, which is how he felt, wounded, crippled, helpless."

"The sounds that came out of him were old as the world itself. He had never known that the human voice was capable of this range. He knew he was worrying Scott, felt he should reassure him, but human speech seemed beyond his ability at the moment. He was gripped by a fear so large it was swallowing him alive. It felt almost prehistoric, existential."

Ellie begins to understand that she must move on with her life: "...she would not let herself believe that grief was a tribute to her dead son, that she was honoring his memory by not living a full life." But Frank has only substituted Ramesh for Benny and he begins to fall apart, unable to work at all when Prakash takes Ramesh away for a few days, going so far as to involve the police. Five days after their return:

"...Frank was still smarting from the insolence of the man [Prakash]. Prakash had wandered back home as if he'd had every right to take off with his son. And now he acted as if he was completely oblivious to the havoc he had wreaked - the anxiety he had caused Edna, the expense of the police search, the lost days of work the episode had cost Frank."

I'm sure that by now you have figured out that I loved this book. Umrigar's writing is beautiful, the characters so real, the settings so vivid. I felt that I really came to know these characters and understand what made them tick. Umrigar is also able to incorporate bigger ideas into the story: who really owns natural resources, is globalization a good thing, government corruption, and religion.
Umrigar's "The Space Between Us" has been on my radar for some time; it will soon be on my nightstand. I cannot wait to read more works by this wonderful writer. Thanks to Trish and TLC Book Tours for allowing me to read and review this book.